Life is a Game of "Choices"
If you are not ready to disappoint people, if you are not ready to have uncomfortable conversations, you will suffer so much more than you can imagine right now.
Easy Choices = Hard life.
Hard Choices = Easy Life
In the past 5-6 years, Yes, I have read a lot, Yes I have meditated, Yes, I have journaled.
Yet, nothing has helped me grow more than making powerful, hard, and uncomfortable choices, and I have made plenty of them.
At times, some of those choices even meant disappointing my loved ones.
Here is one choice I would like to share with you,
It was December 2017; I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disorder. Basically, I was reeling with unbearable back pain, and it had been there for some time; my life was a living hell.
With this sit, I was planning to go to the Chopta-Chandrashilla trek.
However, there was one challenge between me and the beauty of Chandrashilla I was about to witness.
It was my mother denying me to go.
Her argument was simple:
If I go to the mountains, that too in the cold, the pain in my back would shoot up, and things might get worse.
Because she is a mother, It would be stupid of me to expect anything other than this from her. She was concerned about me and my health, and it does actually make a lot of sense.
Only, I was not at all ready to listen to her because, though I understood her perspective, she had no idea how much that trek would mean to me, how much that break to the mountains would mean to me.
Yes, I was struggling with physical pain, but at this point, my struggle was more mental and emotional.
I needed a refresher so badly, something that would help me distract my mind from my unbearable pain and the future that had collapsed for me because of my incurable condition.
Now, both of us kept on arguing; we kept on having verbal fights. She even got angry with me, and she didn’t even speak to me for days.
But I wanted that trip so badly; I didn’t flinch. I stayed stubborn, and my mother was left with no choice; she had to give up, and I went for the trip.
Here is what I got to witness on that trip. To date, I have never witnessed so much beauty in my life.
Was she happy and supportive of my choice?
No, not at all.
Was it easy for me to make that choice?
No, not at all.
Do I regret making that choice?
No, not at all.
Does my mother even remember now how she resisted and how much argument we had?
Don’t think so.
Yes, I had to disappoint my mother to go on this trip, but am I proud of making that choice? Yes, so f****g much.
Now, today, I am way more emotionally intelligent, and if I were in a similar situation and I had to convince my mother again, I would be able to do it smoothly, simply making her understand my perspective with love and respect.
But I don’t think I would have had this understanding had I not chosen to disappoint her and go for the trip.
But once again, if I have to make a choice that I believe in, which I desire, which is aligned with me, even if I have to disappoint my mother again, I will do it.
Why? Why it’s okay to disappoint people?
Because you are doing it for a good cause, you are making a powerful choice for yourself; you are making a statement on how you are going to live your life.
In order to live a life true to yourself, you will have to disappoint people, especially your loved ones; that’s just the hard reality of life(it’s not so hard because it’s just temporary).
If you are not ready to disappoint people, if you are not ready to have uncomfortable conversations, you will suffer so much more than you can imagine right now.
(Read about the top 5 regrets of the ‘dying’, click here)
Also, though your loved ones will be disappointed initially, if they really love you, they will understand because the most important thing for your loved ones is your ‘happiness.’
But so many times, their idea of your happiness will not be aligned with your idea of your happiness,
But guess what? Who knows better about your happiness’ it’s “you,” not your parents/partner/children. If that’s not you, that’s just sad.
I can be certain about one thing: if you follow your parents or loved ones’ idea of ‘happiness’, most likely, you are going to end up being miserable, and you would have no one to blame but yourself.
Because, guess what?
Your life and happiness are your responsibility, and so are your choices.
Also, even if you disappoint your parents, in the end, your parents will respect and believe in you even more.
Because, at least, they will know you are a fighter, you are courageous, you stand up for what you really want, you are not going to live a compromised life(you are not a sheep), and people respect courageous people; they don’t respect cowards.
In the end, what will truly matter to your parents will be your ‘happiness’, and they will be proud of the person you will become.
Think of this,
How will they be proud of someone who can’t even stand against their parents to go for what he/she wants? (The people who probably love you the most)
How will this person stand up against other challenges?
I know this so well because my parents today are very proud of me, and they even trust and believe in me more than my elder siblings.(Sorry, my elder siblings, I hope you don’t ever read this :p)
Why?
Because I didn’t conform to the choices they expected me to make. I went after what I really wanted, even if it was in disagreement with them. (which it mostly was)
Short-term disappointment, Long-Term Happiness.
What could happen if you make one choice you believe in that you desire, even if it means disappointing your parents/loved ones?
You will set a new standard for them and how you are going to make choices from here on.
You will probably believe in yourself more than before.
Your parents will probably believe in you more than before.
You will have some very powerful experiences in your life.
The universe will give you bigger things, seeing your “commitment” to going after what you desire.
One powerful choice can be the beginning of some more powerful and courageous choices.
If you keep waiting to make smooth choices, you might keep waiting till eternity, and it may never come, and you will never grow out of a smooth choice as much as you will grow when you make a hard choice.
Nothing will raise your ‘self-belief’ as much as making a hard and powerful choice.
Nothing will bring out the courage within you as much as making a hard and uncomfortable choice.
In the end, I want to say,
Manifestation is not about the Universe fulfilling our specific requests and desires.
Manifestation is Universe, granting us reflections of our own being.
The challenges that we face are the mirrors that reflect the depth of our desires. (How badly do you want it?)
It’s never about what you achieve. It’s all about who you become.
What if Universe is urging you to become courageous?
What if Universe Is urging you to be more true to yourself and your desires?
What if Universe is urging you to make some powerful choices?
Lastly,
You have no idea how much harm ‘good boy/good girl’ syndrome is causing you and your loved ones; if you knew it, you wouldn’t play that role and be true to yourself and your desires.
Love and Cheers.
Read about the significance of travel in my life here.
Also, If you are someone,
- Who understands the importance of traveling with the right company?
- Who wants to meet like-minded people?
- Who is adventurous and loves to explore.
- At a crossroads in life, and don’t know what to do next.
- Wants to test yourself mentally and physically
- Ready to experience some discomfort
I am doing an adventure(inner+outer) retreat, specifically for people who are on their healing journey to level up their growth and also connect with like-minded people and be part of a community.
If you join us and a crazy bunch of strangers like you, it could become one of the core memories of your life.
For more details, DM me on “LinkedIN”