Why do we keep falling back in same cycles and patterns
If you are on a spiritual, healing, or growth journey, the chances are that you have been in situation(s) where you felt like you had overcome it and did a lot of inner work but still ended up falling
If you are on a spiritual, healing, or growth journey, the chances are that you have been in situation(s) where you felt like you had overcome it and did a lot of inner work but still ended up falling into a similar pattern.
If you have been there, you know how frustrating it is to feel like you are in the same spot even after years and months of work.
A couple of days ago, I was sitting, and this thought came to my mind. I could think of multiple reasons why this happens.
1.) Resistance to Pain
On a deep, unconscious level, our mind has a tendency to avoid feeling pain.
When we are in these limiting patterns where things do not go according to our expectations, the truth is that it's very hard to deal with it, and because we already have a tendency to avoid feeling pain, we resist it even more.
To overcome any cycle or pattern, you have to fully experience(feel) the pain that comes with it.
How are you creating this resistance with your thoughts and actions?
2.) Fear
Because of the resistance to pain arises the fear of not repeating the same pattern; we make so many efforts to not go through the same situation, but our focus is still on the situation that we want to avoid, and because of that, the chances of recreating it go even higher.
We are still coming from a place of fear and,
Fear begets fear. Love begets love.
What are you really afraid to feel?
3.) Attachment/Wanting
Because of the fear, we somehow become attached to the idea of breaking the cycle, we even put in a lot of work to get over it, and because of that, there is an attachment towards letting it go.
How do we know if we are attached to letting it go?
When we want an experience to be over with obsessively because it is painful, then it's even harder to let go because of the attachment.
How can you let go of this attachment?
4.) Similar but not the Same
When we fall back into the same cycle, it's our overthinking and critical mind that tells us, "Oh, this again, when will this be over?
It was that overthinking and critical mind that created this pattern in the first place.
We never fall back into the same cycle; there is always some change, it might be similar, but not exactly the same, and in most cases, we are not able to see the progress we have made.
As soon as you start focusing on what is different from last time, what you have learned, it will get easier.
5.) Healing takes time
It's again our expectation that we will get out of a limiting pattern in one go, maybe the pattern is so deep that the process requires multiple similar experiences, and each time it happened to let go of your fears a little more.
Some processes take time, no matter how much work you put into them.
For example, - A human baby will be born in approximately 9 months, no matter if you put 1 man into work or 9.
One of the most important things that you need on this journey is 'patience.'
(Read my post on how you can master the art of being "patient.")
The less we start to focus on a particular pattern or cycle and focus more on our learnings and how we can "be with" pain and emotional hurt, the more we start breaking cycles.
It's a little ironic, but the moment we let go of the need to get over a pattern/cycle, we start getting over it effortlessly.
The purpose of any limiting pattern is to make you a stronger version of yourself.
The version of yourself that is more loving and emotionally resilient.
If that’s happening, you are on the right path.
Want to learn more about how to break cycles and limiting patterns?